


Have Youself A Merry Little Christmas

by bringmesomepie



Series: In the Spirit of Song [20]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Dean, Car Sex, Christmas, Christmas Drama, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Feels, First Christmas, First Love, Flashbacks, Gen, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, I'm Sorry, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Snow, Songfic, Tears, Top Castiel, White Christmas, graveyard, major feels, warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 04:15:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5525030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bringmesomepie/pseuds/bringmesomepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have yourself a merry little Christmas,<br/>Make the Yule-tide gay…<br/>From now on, our troubles will be miles away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have Youself A Merry Little Christmas

He stood there. Alone. The cold December breeze swirled around him. He was freezing and couldn’t feel his hands, but he had to be there. He was supposed to have been at his mom and dad’s house an hour ago, but he just couldn’t leave just yet.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He fished it out. “H-h-hello?”

“Where are you? You were supposed to be here an hour ago.”

“I’ll be there soon, I had to stop somewhere first. I’m sorry, Dad.”

“It’s alright, Sam and Gabe just got here.”

“I’ll be there soon.” He nodded and hung up. He looked down at the ground and took a deep breath. “Merry Christmas. Remember our first Christmas together as a couple? Our last Christmas?”

_**)(* &^%$#%^&*()(*&^%$#%^&*()_** _

“Come on Dean, my parents aren’t that bad.” Cas smiled as they drove out of the neighborhood.

Dean chuckled. “No, they weren’t bad. They were lovely as always. They filled my belly full of delicious food and were super nice as always, but now I won’t be able to eat a thing ate my parents house.”

“Don’t be silly. You have like eight stomachs. You can manage.” Cas laughed.

Dean clapped his hands. “You’re gonna be in heaven, Cas. Mama makes the best Christmas dinner.”

“God, I hope so. Two huge meals in a day is just what I need. Pray every year that Mary create heavenly goodness.” Cas sighed.

“When we get back to the apartment we are gonna be comatose.” Dean turned into his neighborhood.

“Do we have time for a quickie to burn some calories before we get to your parents?”

Dean looked at his watch and did a U-turn and drove to the closest empty lot. “It has to be a true quickie.”

“Backseat is more comfortable.” Cas raised an eyebrow. They rushed into the back and stripped off their dress pants and underwear. They made out for a while before actually getting down to business and stripping off their shirts. “Gabe said he was gonna be late to your parents house.”

“Ain’t that I a bitch. Sammy said the same thing.” Dean kissed up Cas’s neck as he straddled the blue eyed man. “They are total fucking.”

“I mean they hung out with us when we were in college.” Cas gripped Dean’s ass. He glossed a finger over Dean’s hole only to find an object blocking his fingers. “Oh Dean…”

“What? I kinda hoped we had time for a quickie, so I prepared. You just have to slide right in.” Dean blushed.

Cas smiled and slowly pulled out the rather large hot pink buttplug. He gripped his hard cock and slid it inside Dean. “You’re so naughty, Dean.”

“Oh please, Cas, you don’t know how much I wanted you to never find out until tonight so you could have ripped off my pants to find my boxers coated in come and my cock leaking precome, ready for another go.” Dean panted as he fucked himself on Cas.

“I’m glad I found out now.” Cas panted.

“I’m not gonna lie, Cas. I might have had a mini orgasm when Naomi brought out her famous buttermilk pie.”

Cas moaned. “It is some amazing pie, but you would be the only person I know to actually have a foodgasm.”

“Fuck…” Dean began to bounce faster and harder. “Talk dirty to me, Baby.”

“When we get back to the apartment, I’m gonna fuck you so hard that we both are gonna be so comatose that we won’t wake up tomorrow.”

“Please!?” Dean gasped. “What are you gonna do?”

“I’m gonna throw you down on the bed and unbutton your pants and take them off with my teeth. I’m gonna ever so slowly take off your shirt and the boxers are last. I’m gonna peel off your boxers and breathe lightly on your precious cock…”

Dean gasped and groaned. “Cas….”

“I’m then gonna drag my tongue from your balls up your shaft to the tip and in gulf your dick in my mouth, once, only once.” Dean bounced even harder in Cas’s lap. “I’m gonna nibbled up your torso, and individually suck on both your nipples. I will roll them between my teeth and lick, suck, and tweek them until they are so sharp they could cut diamond.”

Dean cock was up in the air and leaking buckets. “Fuck…”

“I’m gonna scissor my fingers in your asshole hole until you are all stretched out for my fat cock so I can fuck you like a cheap hooker.”

That did it for Dean. He clenched his ass and came hard. Cas came second once Dean unclenched his buttcheeks. They took a moment to just pant. Dean rested his head on Cas’s shoulder and Cas tilted his head back.

“We need to get to your parents house.” Cas finally spoke.

Dean straightened up. “God, Cas. You about split me in half.” He pulled himself off Cas and pulled on his boxers and dress pants and socks and shoes. “Ok, how late are we gonna be?”

“Were we supposed to be there at 4 or 4:30?” Cas looked at his watched.

“4.” Dean answered.

Cas just laughed. “Quickies are supposed to be, you know, quick.”

“Well, it was your fault we made out for a while.” Dean laughed. “That’s why I tell my mom around the time we will get there. Give or take an hour.”

“We’re nearing the end of that comfort zone.”

“Good thing we are less than 5 minutes from my house.” Dean drove out of the parking lot. It took less than 5 minutes before they are pulling into the driveway.

Dean started to open the car door. Cas stopped him. “Wait, fix your hair first.”

“Smart.” Dean pointed.

_***( &^%$#%^&*()*&^%$%^&*()** _

“Cas? Are we going to my parents or your parents’ house first this year?” Dean called from the half bath downstairs as he fixed his tie.

“Your family. They are having a lunch and my family is having a dinner.” Cas walked past the half bath searching for his husband. He reversed and propped on the doorframe. “I knew you would look sexy in that tie.”

“I don’t know. Isn’t this a little formal.” Dean frowned.

“I think you look breathtaking.” Cas wrapped his arms around his husband.

“Mama’s gonna start thinking I can’t dress myself.” Dean laughed fixing his tie again.

Cas smirked. “If I didn’t pick out clothes for you, you would be wearing something that is grease stained or stained with food from the store. Quit messing with your tie. It looks fine.”

“Are we gonna tell our parents about starting to the adoption process?” Dean turned around to face Cas.

“Are you telling me that we are gonna adopt the one you were talking about?” Cas smiled bright.

Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas. “He’s perfect, Cas. His name is Adam Milligan. He’s a year old. Blonde hair, blue eyes. His mother is Kate Milligan, she pasted away when he was 6 months old and the father disappeared. He’s a sweet, adorable little baby.”

“We should do it. You seem dead set on him.” Cas smiled.

“Good, because I sent the paperwork in a month ago and he’s ours. Adam Michael Milligan Winchester. We pick him up from the airport in 2 weeks.” Dean beamed a smile.

Cas gasped. “Fuck, oh my God, Dean!”

“Merry Christmas, Cas.” Dean grinned as Cas squeezed Dean tightly in his hug.

“We’re gonna be Daddies!” Cas cupped Dean’s chin. “We have to tell everyone.”

“Come on, we’re gonna be late, as always.” Dean guided Cas out of the half bath.

“Wait, wait, Dean. Was this your big surprise for me?” Cas pointed into Dean’s chest. “Was this the big present you have been keeping secret?”

“It was the hardest 4 weeks of my life.” Dean sighed.

“You are gonna have a big present when we get home tonight.” Cas kissed Dean. “Not as big as getting a baby, but equally as enjoyable.”

“I’m glad you said tonight and not now, because we are seriously gonna be late.” Dean tapped Cas’s nose.

_**()* &^%$#%^&*()(*&^%$#%^&** _

He closed his eyes and just listened to the sound of wind rustling through the trees. He took a deep breath. “That was the same year Sam and Gabe came out that they were together, but you know we already knew.”

Tears filled his eyes. “We have spent our entire lives together. Our mothers were best friends and both our dads worked at the same garage. It couldn’t have been more perfect.”

He felt his phone buzzing again. He didn’t answer it. He needed to be alone. He wiped a frozen hand down his face to wipe away the tearsicles forming on his cheeks. “I remember you humming your favorite Christmas song as you did your chores around the apartment and while decorating for Christmas. You would start the day after Thanksgiving and not stop until the night of Christmas. You were so tone deaf. You couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, but you sang as if you won awards for your voice. I never stopped you because I loved watching you smile as you sang or hummed until you were blue in the face.”

He choked on his sob. He slammed his eyes closed as tears leaked out. He coughed and covered his hands with his face for a brief moment. “I used to hate the song until I heard you hum it. At the time I didn’t—I didn’t know you couldn’t fucking sing. It wasn’t until our second Christmas together that I decided that I was gonna marry you. The first Christmas we lived together made me fall in love with you.”

He sobbed again and coughed. He sniffed and let the tears roll down his face. He could feel his phone buzz again. “That’s saying a lot. Fuck!” He dropped to his knees in the light layer of snow. “Why did you have to leave me!? I loved you! I wanted us to grow old together!”

He sobbed with closed eyes as tears dripped out of his eyes and into the snow. He coughed again and choked on a sob. _“Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light…From—From now on, our troubles will be out of sight---…”_

 _“Have yourself a merry little Christmas…Make the Yule-tide gay…From now on—“_ He choked on his words with the knot in his throat. _“From now on, our troubles will be miles away.”_

His phone rang for the three time. He cleared his throat and answered. “Yeah?”

“Are you ok? We were worried. You weren’t answering your phone. Adam is begging for his De-De.”

“I needed some alone time.” He spat out as he wiped his face with his free hand.

“I’m sorry. Just get here soon, please.”

“Sure.” He responded. He hung up and looked up. Fresh tears bubbled up in his eyes. “You were always the person I ran to so I could cry on your shoulder…even before we dated, Hell, even before I came out of the closet. What do I do now?”

He closed his eyes again. “I still remember the phone call, the news reports, the drama. _Man gets slammed off road by drunk driver._ How could I forget? Those were the worse 48 hours of my life.”

“I remembered the moment you opened your eyes and stared at me. I thought everything was gonna be ok, like in the movies. You were gonna be fine. But reality is nothing like the movies. You opened your eyes, looked directly and my and took your final breath and closed them again.” He took a deep breath. “That was the worst moment of my life…to have you open your eyes for a moment and give me a glimpse of hope and break my heart seconds later….part of me died…”

He heard footsteps behind him. “I sang the same damn song for hours. It was two days after Christmas! You were just going on a milk run! You had been gone for 15 minutes.”

The footsteps were getting closer. “Everything was just starting to fall into place! You had just gotten a huge raise, and I got promoted, we almost raised enough money to buy a house. We were thinking about starting a family, Hell, we had just adopted our baby son. We had it all planned out. _Here we are as in olden days, Happy golden days of yore…Loving friends w-who are dear to us---…Gather near to us once more…”_ He hung his head and sang the last part. “ _Through the years, we all will be—together…if the Fates allow, hang a shining star upon—the highest bough…And have yourself—have—h-have yourself…A merry little Christmas, now._ ”

“Dammit! I miss you! I loved you! I just wanna tell you how much I fucking love you, but I can’t.” He yelled. “Why did you close your fucking eyes!? Why did you leave me?! I’m alone! You were my everything! I’m completely lost without you! What am I supposed to do now, Cas!?!”

There was a long moment of silence. Then. “Dean? God, you must be freezing.” Sam runs over to his brother and drops to his knees then pulled Dean into his embrace. He was shaking. He didn’t know if it was from how cold he was or his emotions, but he leaned into Sam for warmth and wrapped his arms around his younger brother and sobbed into his shoulder. “There, there, Dee. Let it all out. I’m right here for you.”

Dean gripped the fabric of Sam’s jacket tightly. After a few minutes Dean’s sobs tapered off and he was ok. They both rose to their feet. “Why did you wait so long to comfort me?” Dean asked once they got a ways away from Cas’s gravestone.

“I didn’t. The moment I saw you I came running and drove to my knees.” Sam frowned.

Dean stared at Sam in confusion. “No, I heard footsteps right behind me a while before you ran up.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. There was no one at the graveyard. You were alone.” Sam opened the passenger door for Dean.

Dean gasped and turned around and easily spotted Cas’s headstone. For a brief moment he definitely saw him in his classic suit, tie and tan trenchcoat propping on the headstone looking at him with a heartwarming smile he hadn’t seen in a year. It was just like a blink of an eye and Cas was gone. A small smile tugged at Dean’s lips. He now had a guardian angel and his name was “Cas…”

_******* _


End file.
